≡ Menu

“You’re Just A Middleman”

Will Crazy Pills

Agency owner: “I get leads for local businesses.”

Cynic #1: “Oh so you’re a leech?”

Cynic #2: “Capitalism at its finest – stealing leads from mom-and-pop shops and selling them back to ’em!”

Cynic #3: “You’re exactly what’s wrong with this country.  I’m sure you voted for Trump too!”

Cynic #4: “It’ll never work.  Everyone hates middlemen.  They’ll cut you out and do it themselves eventually.”

Cynic #5: “Get a real job.”

Me: “I can’t.”


Uber is the largest taxi company in the world – and yet, they own no vehicles.

Google is the most popular website in the world; Facebook is the most popular social networking site in the world; and YouTube is the largest video sharing site in the world – and yet, none of them create any content.

Alibaba is quickly becoming one of the largest retailers in the world – and yet, they create no products and store no inventory.

Same goes for Airbnb, arguably the biggest accommodation provider in the world – and yet, they own no properties.

What’s wrong with being the number one bounce house rental biz in Dallas, Texas – without owning a single bounce house?

Ditto any of the other thousands of awesome niches you could go into?

And if Billy’s Bounce Houses does not have the time or interest or ability to get their own leads… and they’re happy to pay YOU to get ’em on their behalf… and now the good people of Dallas can go to Google and quickly and easily find the perfect bounce house they need for that upcoming birthday party… why then, is the only one upset by this some pasty-white, porn-addicted dork in a studio apartment in Marysville, Kansas?

Makes zero sense.

Plus, it’s pretty f*cking clear, whether you like it or not: today, the smartest, most scalable business model in the entire f*cking world… is connecting people!

(Or what the cynics call “being a middleman.”)

*Cue Mugatu: “Doesn’t anyone notice this?  I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!”

Plus, how can they mock local lead gen., then jump in an Uber and head to their Airbnb for the weekend, and not see the irony in that?


Shouldn’t they be mad at Uber for hurting the OG taxi companies?  Oh, and what about car rentals?  Those gotta be way down.  Public transportation?  How ’bout new and used car sales?  And let’s not forget all the poor businesses who lost employees to this evil ride-sharing empire!

And don’t even get me started on Airbnb’s greedy-ass!

(See what I’m sayin’?)

(Silly cynics.)

Oh well.

If you’re a local agency owner, can’t let it faze ya.

No sense debating some troll, typin’ away in his tighty whities, all covered in breadcrumbs – ya know?

Whaddya have to gain by doing that?

Besides, it’s like a wise woman (or was it Cardi B?) once said, “Why would I hop in some beef?  When I could just hop in a Porsche?”


So yeah, just put your head down… and keep on keepin’ on.

And hopefully, that “real job” – that your haters seem to think is so noble and safe – will still be around five years from now.

But you?  You’ll be just fine.  Because you’re not a moron.  And you don’t hate money.

Related rant: hey Bob from HR.

Cory Johnson: your momma’s neighbor’s side chick’s last Uber Eats delivery guy’s third-favorite blogger. Here’s how he makes millions of dollars blogging without being bothered.