If you have more than 10 Gs in the bank, Kevin David and the guy on the right are happy to take it off your hands. And why not give it to ’em? What else are you gonna do with it? Stocks? Real estate? Nah. According to KD, those are both “dead.”
You can get far better returns buying into their
pyramid scheme “passive, turnkey AMZ business.” Where, instead of measly 5% to 7% annual returns, you can expect to see 50% to 80%! But again. You can only partner with them if you’re a “high net worth individual” with at least 10 racks saved up. (Really, Kev? That’s your criteria for high net worth? You probably spent more than that on bath bombs last year.)
The ad continues. After Kevin separates you from your money, he promises his team will get busy building you a “massive Amazon business” that runs “on autopilot” so you can go bust open the ol’ biscuit with wifey while profits pile up in the background.
Kevin then turns to the other dude and addresses the elephant in the room: “You might be asking yourself, why are we actually doing this? Why don’t we just make these businesses for ourselves?” he says, seemingly teeing it up for his buddy to answer.
But before the poor guy can open his mouth, Kevin just overpowers him. “There’s a couple of reasons. First, we love to see our students have massive success. But the second reason is Amazon generally only allows each person to have one account. And so, the fastest way for us to grow is to partner with the right people and grow businesses on their behalf,” he explains.
Riiight. Because you wouldn’t just focus on scaling up what’s working or adding more winning products to your one account. No. You’d definitely spend all your time and energy creating dimwitted YouTube ads to tell other people how they can get rich on Amazon without doing anything.
But fear not. If you’re thinking it’s a scam, Kevin flashes all the articles he’s paid to have published on Forbes, Business Insider, Entrepreneur, and other sites who have no issue lending credibility to fake gurus in exchange for thousands of dollars.
After all, all they gotta do is bury an article with the guru’s name in it—deep in their archives—such that nobody’d ever see it if it weren’t for the guru giving everyone the exact headline to go Google search. Amiright?
Let’s see, what else? Oh yeah, fake scarcity. Kevin tries to keep a straight face while he looks directly into the camera and warns that, because it’s so labor-intensive, they can only work with a limited number of
suckers people. Ya know, so you better hurry. (I guess you’re just supposed to ignore the fact that they’ve spent millions of dollars running ads to promote this offer.)
It ends exactly how you’d expect it to: Kevin tells you to click the button, sign up to
get spammed watch a free training, and see people he probably bribed to say nice things proof that this actually works.
But the most fascinating thing about this particular Kevin David Amazon ad was the Guy on the Right just sitting there, silently, like a stray dog who got snapped into a calm, submissive state by pack leader Cesar Millan. I almost peed my pants laughing when I found the unlisted video and read the comments, and saw this little gem:
Andrew Michael Todd, you sir, won the internet for the day.