“I’ll have it done today.”
Equals: “It might get done tomorrow.”
…
“I’ll have it done tomorrow.”
Equals: “I’ll need a small miracle, a Starbucks IV, and a catheter to have it to ya this week.”
…
“It’s comin’ along nicely.”
Equals: “Just opened up a blank Text document to brainstorm.”
…
“I’ll get started right away.”
Equals: “‘Bout to slip into my gravy pants and stream Netflix while I wait for inspiration that’ll never come.”
*Like the, “I’m proud of you, son,” I longed for as a child.
Related: side-splitting digital marketing memes.
