≡ Menu

Jordan Belfort Quotes

Jordan Belfort

Jordan Belfort quotes: sentences on success, selling, and shenanigans from the “Wolf of Wall Street” himself.

“No matter what happened to you in your past, you are not your past, you are the resources and the capabilities you glean from it.  And that is the basis for all change.”

“Average sucks.”

“If I earn a million dollars a week and the average American earns a thousand dollars a week, then when I spend twenty thousand dollars on something it’s the equivalent of the average American spending twenty dollars on something, right?”

“But what I sincerely hope is that my life serves as a cautionary tale to the rich and poor alike; to anyone who’s living with a spoon up their nose and a bunch of pills dissolving in their stomach; or to any person who’s considering taking a God-given gift and misusing it; to anyone who decides to go to the dark side of the force and live a life of unbridled hedonism.  And to anyone who thinks there’s anything glamorous about being known as a ‘Wolf of Wall Street.'”

“I believe in total immersion.  If you want to be rich, you have to program your mind to be rich.  You have to unlearn all the thoughts that were making you poor and replace them with new thoughts – rich thoughts.”

“They were drunk on youth, fueled by greed, and higher than kites.”

“The three of us exchanged glances but said nothing.  After all, what was there to say?  The truth was that hookers did take credit cards – or at least ours did!  In fact, hookers were so much a part of the Stratton subculture that we classified them like publicly traded stocks.  Blue Chips were considered the top-of-the-line hooker, zee crème de la crème.  They were usually struggling young models or exceptionally beautiful college girls in desperate need of tuition or designer clothing, and for a few thousand dollars they would do almost anything imaginable, either to you or to each other.  Next came the NASDAQs, who were one step down from the Blue Chips.  They were priced between three and five hundred dollars and made you wear a condom unless you gave them a hefty tip, which I always did.  Then came the Pink Sheet hookers, who were the lowest form of all, usually a streetwalker or the sort of low-class hooker who showed up in response to a desperate late-night phone call to a number in Screw magazine or the yellow pages.  They usually cost a hundred dollars or less, and if you didn’t wear a condom, you’d get a penicillin shot the next day and then pray that your d*ck didn’t fall off.  Anyway, the Blue Chips took credit cards, so what was wrong with writing them off on your taxes?  After all, the IRS knew about this sort of stuff, didn’t they?  In fact, back in the good old days, when getting blasted over lunch was considered normal corporate behavior, the IRS referred to these types of expenses as ‘three-martini lunches!’  They even had an accounting term for it.  It was called ‘T and E,’ which stood for Travel and Entertainment.  All I’d done was taken the small liberty of moving things to their logical conclusion, changing T and E to T and A: Tits and Ass!”

“I’ve got the guts to die.  What I want to know is, have you got the guts to live?”

“You need to see things as they are, not worse than they are.  Then see them better than they are and make them that way.”

“I want you to back yourself into a corner.  Give yourself no choice but to succeed.  Let the consequences of failure become so dire and so unthinkable that you’ll have no choice but to do whatever it takes to succeed.”

“Everything that has happened to you up to this point is irrelevant.  It’s your past.”

“Successful people are 100% convinced that they are masters of their own destiny.  They’re not creatures of circumstance, they create circumstance.  If the circumstances around them suck, they change them.”

“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullsh*t story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.”

“Winners use words like ‘must’ and ‘will.'”

“And from the time I was a kid, I’ve had this internal monologue roaring through my head, which doesn’t stop – unless I’m asleep.  I’m sure every person has this; it’s just that my monologue is particularly loud.  And particularly troublesome.  I’m constantly asking myself questions.  And the problem with that is that your brain is like a computer: if you ask a question, it’s programmed to respond, whether there’s an answer or not.  I’m constantly weighing everything in my mind and trying to predict how my actions will influence events.  Or maybe manipulate events are the more appropriate words.  It’s like playing a game of chess with your own life.  And I hate f*cking chess!”

“When you live your life by poor standards, you inflict damage on everyone who crosses your path, especially those you love.”

“If you want to be rich, never give up.  People tend to give up.  If you have persistence, you will come out ahead of most people.  More importantly, you will learn.  When you do something, you might fail.  But that’s not because you’re a failure.  It’s because you have not learned enough.  Do it differently each time.  One day, you will do it right.  Failure is your friend.”

“If you give people a good enough why, they will always figure out the how.”

“If you try and fail, people will praise you for trying.  If you fail to even try, people will ignore you.”

“Act as if… act as if you’re a wealthy man, rich already, and then you’ll surely become rich.  Act as if you have unmatched confidence and then people will surely have confidence in you.  Act as if you have unmatched experience and then people will follow your advice.  And act as if you are already a tremendous success, and as sure as I stand here today – you will become successful.”

“Create a vision that makes you wanna jump out of bed in the morning.”

“And my wife… well, I guess she’d earned her scene with me, but still; did she really have that much reason to be angry?  I mean, when she married me she knew what she was getting into, didn’t she?  She had been my mistress, for Chrissake!  That spoke volumes, didn’t it?”

“‘Everyone does this sh*t.’  I paused, letting Elliot’s words hang in the air.  There’s no denying that he had a point.  You see it in jewelry stores all the time.  They inflate their price tags and then mark things down right in front of you so you think you’re getting a good deal.  And all this business about an over-order isn’t much different than all those stores you see advertising ‘going-out-of-business sales.’  Most of them have been advertising the same ‘going-out-of-business sale’ for the last 10 years.  And in 10 more years they’ll still be going out of business.”

“Without action, the best intentions in the world are nothing more than that – intentions.”

“The best way to sell something?  Don’t sell anything.  Earn awareness, respect, and trust of those who might buy.”

“Dream stompers are people who want to stomp on your hopes and dreams.  Lose their phone numbers.”

“There are always patterns in everything: there are patterns in books, there are patterns in human behavior, there are patterns in success, there are patterns for everything in life.  You just need to pay attention to them.”

“Contrary to previous assumptions, young men and women who possess the collective social graces of a herd of sex-crazed water buffalo and have an intelligence quotient in the range of Forrest Gump on three hits of acid, can be taught to sound like Wall Street wizards, as long as you write every last word down for them and then keep drilling it into their heads again and again – every day, twice a day – for a year straight.”

Wow.  Entertaining, inspiring, insightful, but a little disturbing.  Right?  But here’s why aspiring millionaires need to study quotes from all types of success stories – even Jordan Belfort.

Cory Johnson: your momma’s neighbor’s side chick’s last Uber Eats delivery guy’s third-favorite blogger. Here’s how he makes millions of dollars blogging without being bothered.