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Dave Chappelle Quotes

David Khari Webber

Dave Chappelle quotes: gems from Jesus’ favorite stand-up comedian.  (Okay, mine.)

“You’ve got to say yes to your destiny.  Life’s happening right now, look around you.  There goes some life.  Come on, Momma, live!”

“You know, to be able to do something great in your life, you’re gonna have to realize your failures.  You’re gonna have to embrace them and figure out how to overcome it.”

“I’m cool with failing so long as I know that there are people around me that love me unconditionally.”

“Success to me is being a good person, treating people well.”

“The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.”

“The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark.”

“The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it.”

“Constantly take inventory of what’s important to you.”

“The world can’t tell you who you are.  You’ve just got to figure out who you are and be there, for better or worse.”

“The worst thing to call somebody is crazy.  It’s dismissive.”

“I support anyone’s right to be who they want to be.”

“My father told me, ‘Name your price in the beginning.  If it ever gets more expensive than the price you name, get out of there.'”

“If I put forth a legitimate effort, then I feel like, if that doesn’t work out, that’s all I can do.”

“I got a lot of positive people around me.  I got real important relationships in my life that are very empowering relationships.”

“If you don’t have the right people around you and you’re moving at a million miles an hour you can lose yourself.”

“For me, it’s easier to like more things than to dislike them; I’m not a critic in that sense.  I find it easier to like more, to be more open and enjoy more things, which has given me more opportunities.”

“The adornment of the body is a human need.  I don’t see anything superficial about it unless your life becomes very materialistic.”

“I’m off to the gym.  Replacing good character with good looks is a cornerstone of my comeback stratagem.”

“I love fashion, beauty, glamour.  It’s the mark of civilization.”

“No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone… you answer it.”

“My kids look actually happy.  And I learned early on that perfectionism and parenthood is a toxic combination for everybody involved.  In other words, so many things can flourish naturally.  All you gotta do is make sure the soil’s right.  I view myself more like a guide than a ruler.”

“I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes.”

“I’m happier in the way a guy gets happier when he starts to mature.  It doesn’t make things easier, but I’m so much better at handling them.”

“I have angst in my life, but I’m like anybody.  We all have angst in our lives that we pick up and fidget with and then we put down and look at some other things that make us feel good or enjoy our lives.”

“There’s not too many people that don’t think I’m crazy, for walking away from so much money.  I’m at a restaurant with my wife, it’s a nice restaurant, we’re eating dinner.  I look across the room, I say, ‘You see this guy over here, across the room?  He has $100 million.’  And we’re eating the same entree.  So, okay, fine, I don’t have $50 million or whatever it was, but say I have $10 million in the bank.  The difference in lifestyle is miniscule.”

“One of the things that happens when people make the leap from a certain amount of money to tens of millions of dollars is that the people around you dramatically change.”

“I just like seeing people.  I just like meeting people.  I like finding out new walks of life and new ideas.”

“As you get older, you think about things differently from when you do in your 20s, when you think you’ll live forever.”

“I just always loved stand-up.  It’s like magic.  You say something, and a whole room full of people laughs together.  Say something else, they laugh again.  The fact that people come to see that and participate in that… I don’t know, it’s just like magic.”

“My wife asked me once if I weren’t a comedian, what I would do.  I couldn’t answer the question.  I never imagined doing anything else.”

“I started when I was 14.  I figured out that’s what I wanted to do when I was 14.  Even when I was six, I can remember people telling me, ‘You’re gonna be a comedian,’ and all this stuff.”

“When I’m on stage, I get real happy there.  Maybe that’s the only time in my adult life I feel like myself.”

“What that’s allowed me to do is have a vantage point about my own life that’s accessible to people still.  I could see a guy walking down the street and be like, even though I’m famous, I got more in common with this guy than, like, Brad Pitt.”

“Most people don’t know what it’s like to stand up there and speak their mind.  I have a venue to do that.  I get paid to do that.  It’s not like I’m doing heavy lifting up there.  It’s not like I’m solving the world’s problems.  It’s like I’m hanging out with a bunch of people and it’s cool.”

“I care about the work I do.  But I’m not going to say that money’s not an issue.  Money is the fuel for choices.  Money gives me choices, so it’s not nothing, it’s something.  But it’s not the end all, be all.  There are other things in my life that I did not purchase with money that are very valuable.”

“Fame for me is like a place – a country I’m taking a tour through.”

“I love being famous – it’s phenomenal.  Being famous is great, it’s not like bad or horrible or anything.  I’m famous today.  People like me today.  Might not like me tomorrow.  You can’t count on it.”

“I want to tell my jokes.  I want to have time with my children.  I want to entertain people.  And at one point, I’ll walk away from show business.  But I don’t want to walk away empty-handed.”

“There’s a lot of people who don’t want anything from me but to laugh and have a good time.  You see them at the show and they like – they dress up to come see your show and stuff.  And they pack these auditoriums and it’s a lot of fun, man.  It’s like, this is how I started, and it’s still fun for me.”

“You can’t get unfamous.  You can get infamous but you can’t get unfamous.”

“You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.”

“I have a very good life, a high quality of life.  I have both money and time.”

“America, I appreciate you liking me.”

Cool, right?  Now go see how much Dave Chappelle makes.

Cory Johnson: your momma’s neighbor’s side chick’s last Uber Eats delivery guy’s third-favorite blogger. Here’s how he makes millions of dollars blogging without being bothered.