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Amy Schumer Quotes

Amy Schumer Standup

Amy Schumer quotes: comedian and actress Amy Schumer tells it like it is.

“Focus on your own goals and how to achieve them.  No one took your spot, there’s room for all of us.”

“Don’t be afraid to be ambitious.”

“You know what?  I’m going to be confident and I’m going to live to my potential and be really proud of my work and not fit into the mold that is so dated that we’ve been supposed to fit in the whole time.”

“Be confident and go after what you want.”

“Putting yourself out there makes you tough.”

“The moments that make life worth living are when things are at their worst and you find a way to laugh.”

“Laughing in the face of adversity can help get you through hard times.”

“I think for anyone to become good at something, they have to fail a lot too.  And they have to be completely unafraid to fail or they’ll never make it to the next level.”

“Embrace your flaws and don’t worry about what others think.”

“I wear my mistakes like badges of honor, and I celebrate them.  They make me human.”

“When your fears come true, you realize they weren’t as bad as you thought.”

“We all accept too easily that life has to be hard and forget to make sure we have the most fun we can.”

“I want to make women laugh.  I want to make them feel beautiful in their own skin.  I want to empower them to use their voice and not apologize.”

“I understand why so many female comics quit or change their path, because it is hard.  It’s hard to be a comedian, and people have so much aggression towards women.  I don’t really know where that comes from, but I feel a total responsibility, and I’m gonna do my part, to continue on the path that I’m on.”

“I didn’t grow up hearing any women really delving into that side of themselves.  So I thought, okay, maybe I can be this person for women and for men just to hear the women’s perspective in a less apologetic, honest way.”

“Everyone is allowed to have their own boundaries.  You just are.  No matter how you dress, no matter what you say or anything, and I feel strongly about that.”

“Determine your own story, don’t let others define you.”

“I like to create stuff.  I like to express myself through jokes.”

“I just say what I think is the funniest thing I could say.  I’m not trying to make headlines.  I’m just trying to say the stuff that I think is funny and will make people laugh.”

“I’ve always been really dark, and drawn to darker humor.  Nothing has been forced, and I don’t say anything for shock value.”

“To be really great, you need to be naturally funny in order to stand out.  But you can work at it, and find the best vehicle that you have to communicate what you’re saying to people.”

“Boxing is like stand-up.  Getting hit in boxing really made me feel stronger as a stand-up, because it’s like having your worst fears happen to you.  That gives you power, because you’re no longer scared of it happening anymore.  You got hit, and it hurt, but you’re okay.”

“Comedy isn’t really something where you get discovered.  You can’t network your way to being funny or talented.  It’s not hard to get seen if you’re funny.  If you’re funny, talented, and work hard, you will go somewhere.”

“I call myself a comic.  But I started as an actress.  I did plays since I was five.”

“I may sound like a megalomaniac, but I feel like I’m equipped to become a great, memorable comedian, if I keep working my ass off and staying at the pace I’m at, and I feel a responsibility to do that because of the women who have done it before me, and the ones who need to do it after me.”

“We have to be a role model for these little girls.  Because who do they have?  All they have literally is the Kardashians.”

“Love yourself!  You don’t need a man or a boy or a self-proclaimed love expert to tell you what you’re worth.  Your power comes from who you are and what you do!  You don’t need all that noise, that constant hum in the background telling you whether or not you’re good enough.  All you need is you, your friends, and your family.  And you will find the right person for you, if that’s what you want – the one who respects your strength and beauty.”

“Don’t be afraid to excuse yourself.  Recharge for as long as you need.  Lean up against a tree and take a break from the other bears.  I’ll be there too, but I promise not to bother you.”

“The best advice my mother gave me was to ‘be a lady.’  But I never really knew what that meant, and obviously didn’t take to it.”

“I think of myself as a fairly attractive girl and always have, thanks to my mom.  I was brought into this world thinking I was gorgeous because my mother was extremely devoted to this notion.”

“‘I usually feel pretty good about myself.”

“I feel very comfortable in my own skin.  When someone makes jokes about me being heavy, it makes me mad.  It’s not true.  I’m right where I should be.”

“At my first audition when I was 21, they were like, ‘You should either lose weight or gain a bunch of weight, like be the fat friend or the romantic lead.’  Can you believe they said this?  But I feel like more than other people saying it, it’s a self-inflicted thing.  We put pressure on ourselves and hold ourselves to this unrealistic standard.”

“I’ll never forget the day I realized I wasn’t quite the Ford model I thought I was.”

“I’m glad I struggled.  I think I’d be an asshole if my money were anything other than the ‘new’ kind.”

“I know my worth.  I embrace my power.”

“I am a woman with thoughts and questions and sh*t to say.  I say if I’m beautiful.  I say if I’m strong.  You will not determine my story – I will.  I will speak and share and f*ck and love and I will never apologize to the frightened millions who resent that they never had it in them to do it.”

“I look to have fun.  You don’t know what’s going to happen.  I want to experience all I can and make as many memories as I can.”

“I am a hot-blooded fire and I am fearless.”

Want more millionaire comedian quotes?  See Jerry Seinfeld’s.

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