Drake the type quotes: super sensitive ways to describe Drizzy.
“Drake the type of dude to put ‘shattered’ in his Instagram bio… all ’cause he got an A- in math.”
“Drake the type of guy to pat his pizza with a paper towel, as if that’s gonna make any difference when he proceeds to wolf down an entire large all by himself.”
“When it’s in between long sleeve and short sleeves outside, Drake the type of dude to tie a sweater around his waist and reason, ‘Hey, better safe than sorry.'”
“Drake the type of dude to fill in for Chris Hansen on To Catch a Predator then ask himself why he’s there and suggest he ‘take a seat, right over there.'”
“Drake the kinda guy who holds his woman’s purse while she rides the roller coaster.”
“Drake the type to squeal and rub his hands together when he sees the waiter bringing his food out, but when he walks right past and takes it to another table, he’ll try to clumsily play it off like, ‘Brr, it’s freezing in here!'”
“Drake the kind of guy to adjust his pants up and say, ‘Okay, no more Mr. nice guy,’ at a heckler.”
“Drake the type to lose an argument then walk away with his head down, makin’ flustered noises.”
“Drake the type to watch Netflix documentaries about serial killers, then sleep with the hallway light on.”
“Drake the type of guy to give his buddy a boop on the nose when he’s feeling thilly.”
“Drake the type of guy to greet himself in the mirror every morning with two finger guns and a wink.”
“Drake the type to nudge his homie and whisper, ‘Watch this, bro,’ before tossing his juice box in the neighbor’s trash can, then jettin’ outta there like the cops are comin’.”
“Drake the type to pull up to the McDonald’s drive-thru, panic, and order somethin’ he didn’t even want.”
“Drake the type to say ‘ergo’ instead of ‘therefore,’ so people think he’s worldly.”
“Drake the type to overuse air quotes.”
“Drake the kind of guy who makes ‘don’t stop’ his safe word during sex, just to prove he likes to live dangerous.”
“Drake the type to find out his best friend just slept with his girl, only to shake his head and chuckle, ‘Classic Gabriel!'”
“Drake the kind of guy to unplug granny’s life support to charge his iPhone.”
“Drake the petty type who’ll invite someone over for dinner, then, when finished, set this in front of ’em and be like, ‘No rush.'”
“Drake the kinda guy to courtesy-flush a fart.”
“Drake the type of person who looks forward to a shower so he can ‘let out a good cry.'”
“Drake the type of dude who talks sh*t, then, when the other dude squares up, pretends his boy’s holding him back, talmbout: ‘Let me bang, bro!'”
“Drake the kinda guy who takes the chocolate chip cookies outta the oven then closes the door with his hips.”
“Drake the type to stomp his feet, clap feverishly, and declare, ‘Things are gettin’ spicy!’ every time they tease a new episode of The Bachelor.”
“Drake the type of dude to get rear-ended, then hop out like, ‘Oh my God, I am so sorry. Are you okay?'”
“Drake the awkward, anticipatory type who answers, ‘Good,’ when someone’s like, ‘What’s up man?'”
“Drake the type to see someone running down the hall and point at the ‘Caution: Slippery When Wet’ sign, slack-jawed, like, ‘What kinda monster would do such a thing?'”
“Drake the type of guy to throw on some jean shorts and leisurely roller skate around the block with his hands behind his back—not a care in the world.”
“Drake the type of dude who, right before battle rappin’, warns his adversary: ‘You’re toast, pal!'”
“Drake the kind of guy to attend a UFC press conference and, when someone starts talkin’ reckless, tap the stranger next to him and say, ‘Boy, he’s cruisin’ for a bruisin’, huh?'”
“Drake the type to dial 9-1 and have his finger over the 1—just in case that wine cooler hits harder than he thought.”
“Drake the type to intentionally run into someone wearing camo, say, ‘Oops, didn’t see ya,’ then grin so wide he could eat a banana sideways.”
“Drake the kind of guy who brings a veggie tray to a tailgate, then excitedly tells the fellas, ‘Don’t worry, I also brought some guilt-free greek yogurt for dipping sauce!'”
“Drake the type of dude to get triggered when someone doesn’t immediately compliment his new J’s.”
“Drake the type to eat lunch at Olive Garden, overdo it on unlimited soup, salad and breadsticks, and spend the rest of the day praying his pants button don’t pop off and shatter a window.”
“Drake the type to play pickup basketball with a buncha strangers at LA Fitness, then ask everyone if they wanna ‘hit the showers’ afterwards.”
“Drake the kind of guy who scream-laughs at adult humor in kids movies.”
“Drake the kind of guy to look a bully straight in the eye and say, ‘Hurt people hurt people.'”
“Drake the type of dude whose family files a missing person report, only to find out he was trapped under a weighted blanket the whole time.”
“When you ask Drake if he watched the football game, he’s liable to say: ‘No, but I heard it was a real slobber knocker of a contest!'”
Related: word porn.
