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You The Type Of Guy Quotes

Drake The Type

You the type of guy/dude/whatever quotes: best used to insult Drake or anyone who’s being overly sensitive.

“You the type of dude to put ‘shattered’ in your Instagram bio… all ’cause ya got an A- in math.”

“You the type of guy to pat your pizza with a paper towel, as if that’s gonna make any difference when you wolf down an entire large all by yourself.”

“When it’s in between long sleeve and short sleeves outside, you the type of dude to tie a sweater around your waist and reason, ‘Hey, better safe than sorry.'”

“You the type of dude to fill in for Chris Hansen on To Catch a Predator then ask yourself why you’re there and suggest you ‘take a seat, right over there.'”

“You’re the kinda guy who holds his woman’s purse while she rides the roller coaster.”

“You the type to squeal and rub your hands together when you see the waiter bringing your food out, but when he walks right past you and takes it to another table and your date starts to laugh, you clumsily try to play it off like, ‘Brr, it’s freezing in here!'”

“You the kind of guy to adjust your pants up and say, ‘Okay, no more Mr. nice guy,’ at a heckler.”

“You the type to lose an argument then walk away with your head down, makin’ flustered noises.”

“You the type of dude who watches Netflix documentaries about serial killers then has to sleep with the hallway light on.”

“You the type of guy to give your buddy a boop on the nose when you’re feeling thilly.”

“You the type of guy to greet yourself in the mirror every morning with two finger guns and a wink.”

“You the type to nudge your friend and whisper, ‘Watch this, bro,’ before tossing your juice box in the neighbor’s trash can, then jettin’ outta there like the cops are comin’.”

“You the type to pull up to the McDonald’s drive-thru, panic, and order somethin’ ya didn’t even want.”

“You the type of girl to swap ‘ergo’ for ‘therefore’ so people think you’re worldly.”

“You the type of dude who overuses air quotes.”

“You the kind of guy who makes ‘don’t stop’ your safe word during sex, just to prove you like to live dangerous.”

“You the type to find out your best friend (Gabe) just slept with your girl, and shake your head and chuckle, ‘Classic Gabriel!'”

“You’re the kind of guy to unplug granny’s life support to charge your iPhone.”

“You the petty type who’ll invite someone over for dinner, then, when finished, set this in front of ’em and be like, ‘No rush.'”

Please Pay For Dinner

“You’re the kinda guy to courtesy-flush a fart.”

“You the type of person who looks forward to a shower so you can ‘let out a good cry.'”

“You the type of dude who talks sh*t, then, when the other dude squares up, pretends your boy’s holding you back, talmbout: ‘Let me bang, bro!'”

“You’re the kinda guy who takes the chocolate chip cookies outta the oven then closes the door with your hips.”

“You the type to stomp your feet, clap feverishly, and declare, ‘Things are gettin’ spicy!’ every time they tease the next episode of The Bachelor.”

“You’re the type of dude to get rear-ended, then hop out like, ‘Oh my God, I am so sorry.  Are you okay?'”

“You the awkward, anticipatory type who answers, ‘Good,’ when someone’s like, ‘What’s up man?'”

“You the type to see someone running down the hall and point at the ‘Caution: Slippery When Wet’ sign, slack-jawed, like, ‘What kinda monster would do such a thing?'”

“You’re the type of guy to throw on some jean shorts and leisurely roller skate around your block with your hands behind your back – not a care in the world.”

“You the type of dude who, right before battle rappin’, warns your adversary: ‘You’re toast, pal!'”

“You’re the kind of guy to attend a UFC press conference and, when someone starts talkin’ reckless, tap the stranger next to ya and say, ‘Boy, he’s cruisin’ for a bruisin’, amiright?'”

“You the type to dial 9-1 and have your finger over the 1 – just in case that wine cooler hits harder than you thought.”

“You the type to intentionally run into someone wearing camo, say, ‘Oops, didn’t see ya,’ then grin so wide you could eat a banana sideways.”

“You’re the kind of guy who brings a veggie tray to a tailgate, then excitedly tells the fellas, ‘Don’t worry, I also brought some guilt-free greek yogurt for dipping sauce!'”

“You the type of dude to get triggered when someone doesn’t notice your new J’s.”

“You the type to eat lunch at Olive Garden, overdo it on unlimited soup, salad and breadsticks, and spend the rest of the day praying your pants button doesn’t pop off and shatter a window.”

“You the type to play pickup basketball with a buncha strangers at LA Fitness, then ask everyone if they wanna ‘hit the showers’ afterwards.”

“You the kind of guy who scream-laughs at adult humor in kids movies.”

“You the kind of guy to look your bully straight in the eye and say, ‘Hurt people hurt people.'”

“You the type of dude whose family files a missing person report, only to find out you were trapped under your weighted blanket all along.”

“You the kind of guy that, when asked if you saw the Sunday night football game, reply, ‘No, but I heard it was a real slobber knocker of a contest!'”

Related: word porn.

Cory Johnson: your neighbor’s nephew’s side chick’s third-favorite writer. Believes, to stay woke, one needs a good night’s sleep. Worth $11 million. Calls THIS the #1 way to become a millionaire today.