If you could not use your work email to opt-in to my list – you know, the one with the f*cking auto-reply that keeps spamming me every morning? – that’d be great. Mmmkay?
Remember: you wanted my emails. Hence why you signed up. I didn’t ask for your company’s sh*tty auto-replies.
You inconsiderate, foul-smelling mongoloid. You probably put the milk back in the fridge with only a drop left in it too. You probably park crooked at Costco. Now Doris has a door ding. You big monster.
Get your life together, Bob.
Besides, don’t you have work to do… at work? Here’s an idea: get a Gmail like every other adult, sign up with that, and read my emails in your spare time.
Actually, nah. Just unsubscribe. You’re dead to me Bob.
Related: charity disparity.
