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Dear Troll

Internet Troll Response

I wrote you this poem.

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
My name is Cory.
Hola!  y tú?

Oh, that’s right.
Nobody knows.
Cuz when you’re anonymous?
Confidence grows.

I’d say the same for your penis.
But like… as Pornhub recalls?
Thing is so tiny…
You prob’ly pee on your balls.

What’s that, hypocrite?
Don’t like my zingers?
Taco Bell breath.
Dorito dust fingers.

You talk tough online.
But not in real life-y.
Awkward AF.
No wonder no wifey.

Digital gangster!
Just playin’ a part.
You the type a dude?
Who flushes a fart.

Anyways, relax bro.
I’m not even mad.
Give your mother a kiss.
A conjugal visit… for dad.

Please feel free to send your trolls, haters, cynics, skeptics, and hoodrat hoochie mamas this link whenever you just can’t.

Cory Johnson: your momma’s neighbor’s side chick’s last Uber Eats delivery guy’s third-favorite blogger. Here’s how he makes millions of dollars blogging without being bothered.