Every Instagram Influencer Be Like

That’s messed up.

But that’s social media for ya. Which is why I stay off – as long as I’m not running ads – and certainly don’t compare myself to these fake-ass influencers.

Cory Johnson: likes bumping #OnRepeat through the Bang & Olufsen sound system in his naturally aspirated V10; post-workout pumps; curvy women; Will Ferrell; Dave Chappelle; and your mom’s potato salad. He hates awkward handshakes. But who cares? Let’s talk about you.